My Astrological Journey

I am inspired to talk to you about all that astrology has done for me over the decades that I’ve been studying. My interest in astrology began when I had my chart done for kicks at the Renaissance Faire in Agoura, CA in 1973. I was 18 years old. Seeing the chart, I knew it was unusual. I don't remember much of the reading but the astrologer said, "You have lots of power". I didn't know what that meant. There ensued my quest to find my power through astrology! My chart was unusually focused. I had planets in just 2 houses, the 9th and 12th, and nothing in the lower hemisphere or any other houses. With 3 planets in Cancer and 4 in Leo, there were 5 conjunctions among them, and they squared the planets in my 12th house, all in Scorpio. Altogether, I had 15 square aspects. It meant that I had a very action oriented and challenging life to live. With Saturn in Scorpio on my Ascendant and Pluto on the Midheaven, I was destined to reach deep for the inspiration to go on at times.

I started my astrological journey by tracking the Moon, which changes signs every 2.5 days. If the planets were in a fire sign, I would take action in the outer world. I felt confident, because I have four planets in Leo: Sun, Mars, Jupiter and Pluto. If the moon was in an earth sign, I would stay home whenever I could and focus on my material reality. Having no earth signs, I needed to pay special attention to these days. When the Moon went into an Air sign I socialized and did creative work, partly because my Neptune in Libra is my only Air sign. When the moon was in Water, where I have the Cancer and Scorpio planets, I allowed myself to rest. This gave me a pattern to live consciously and helped me define the easiest way forward. By tracking my transits I learned that Saturn often brought melancholia when squaring my series of planets in one sign or the other. Reading Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore shed light on this quality of the Saturnian archetype, and helped me to lift myself out of the depths of my feelings. I began to see how I could reach into the depths for answers and come up with treasure. I did not feel safe in the world and did not take advantage of travel or education when I was young.

I was wounded by almost every encounter with my parents as I grew up. The more I studied psychology, the more I realized that their social conditioning and mine were completely different. I was a child of the 60’s and they were living through times of war. Not wanting to upset anything due to fear, and not believing anything could change. My dad would tell me, this is how the world is. How many of us were convinced patriarchy was normal? But with my strong solar fire, 5 planets in Leo in the 9th house ruled by Jupiter which rules Sagittarius the Archer shooting for unreachable goals, I internally was meant to live comfortably in times of change. Because I used astrology to enhance my understanding of Self, I was drawn to healing modalities and used them to heal myself and eventually others. After living with an alcoholic, I joined Al-Anon and learned some of my first spiritual lessons. I learned about the victim, perpetrator, blame cycle. I saw that it was active in my life and this led to divorce. I vowed to overcome this by recognizing and not using blame as a way to make myself right. I started doing shadow work to bring up the hidden themes that I attracted into my life. I met someone who used the Tarot, and I began to practice it. Soon I turned it into a study of my self-destructive patterns, though I was not able at that time to receive the gifts that the cards were presenting. My Moon-Saturn was far from being healed. I had many obstacles yet to face. In 1989, I attracted a job selling advertising and had a good run of independent work for a few years. I started a woman's spiritual full moon ritual group in my home and made many friends. I tended to give yet didn't know how to receive, and ended up without the resources I needed to live comfortably and take care of my kids. I focused on my parents' advice about getting a husband instead of focusing on raising my kids. That old outdated belief that I had to focus lasted a long time. Even when a long-time lover asked me to marry him, I said no because of my fear of attracting violence into my home. My unrecognized fears unraveled my life many times. Difficult beginnings are to be expected, says Hexagram 3 in the I-Ching, the Book of Changes but if you persevere things will work out.

I continued my study of astrology and gave readings in my community. I moved on from selling advertising as the economy worsened and the prospect of sales were slim. I got a job as a secretary nearby and didn’t have to travel so much. In 1995, while Pluto was ending its run in Scorpio and moving into Sagittarius, making aspects to my Moon, Saturn, and Sun, I lost my job and came home with an eviction notice on my door. My whole life changed that year as I also lost my car, and my children went to live with family members to allow me to recover. This was when Pluto in its home sign of Scorpio did its work of unveiling the tremendous amount of unhealthy family violence present in our society. Child abuse, elder abuse and victimization were all highlighted in the press, along with the O.J. Simpson trial. The Internet has become more common in our homes. To heal myself, I did elder care and ended up living near the Self Realization Fellowship which I enjoyed. I was done with chasing men and eventually made my way back to the Inland Valley to recover my children and live independently. I started attending weekly classes studying, A Course in Miracles (ACIM). I found Carol Anthony's A Guide to the I-Ching, which I used in conjunction with the daily lessons in ACIM. I attended these classes for 8 years! They gave me the courage to prepare to go back to school to further my education. After many years of reading people's charts and doing Tarot readings, I felt led to improve my cultural knowledge with more education.. I took tests to prove my knowledge in lower degree subjects so I could get the credits to attend a graduate institute in a B.A. Program.

I was 50 years old when I returned to school. I moved to Oakland, CA and eventually attended California Institute of Integral Studies. In one year I had a B.A. and almost immediately got laid off from the highest paying job I had ever had. I left the city to live in Arcata, CA, a more rural area on the northern shores of the Pacific Ocean, as I had wanted to do for years. I left with a new sense of personhood. Being away from my parents, I saw that they had never grown up. That they lived in a far different way than I wanted to live. Because of their narcissism I didn’t understand my place in the world other than to be their child and now I was an adult. I found a Sufi community that had Dances of Universal Peace every other week. I joined these dances and studied all the aspects of Sufism, and I spread peace at work. I was offered a volunteer position at the newly formed spiritual education business, The Shift Network. I worked my way through the system until I got a paid position in Customer Service. Along with colleagues, we built a robust customer service department and I shined as a leader with lots of initiative. I loved it. This was my dream job! I worked there for 13 years.

Now retired from my position, I am doing what I have wanted to do since my Saturn return all those years ago. I found a very intense course that trained me to read all the different charts available to astrologers and deepened my knowledge of astrology, including in my own chart. The most amazing thing I learned is that in my very unbalanced chart with all the planets above the horizon there is a stabilizing element with Chiron in Aquarius exactly opposite my Leo Sun! Chiron is the wounded healer, which is the energy I had experienced throughout my childhood and into my adult life. I took a course about Chiron that showed me the most significant events in my life took place when Chiron was making angles to itself by transit, when I was married, when I became a mother, and when I returned to school. Chiron in Aquarius is the rebel, the reformer, the fool and the genius, and I saw how I had played all of those roles subconsciously. Having such a packed chart has helped me examine things from many sides.

This year Pluto is moving from Capricorn and into Aquarius and the next few years will bring lots of change as we transition into the Aquarian Age. Each person’s choices will create their reality. No longer will we be dependent on others' choices as Pluto moves out of Earth-uled Capricorn and into Air-ruled Aquarius. Next year Uranus in Taurus, an Earth sign, moves into Gemini, an Air sign. Pluto and Uranus are signs ruling the collective so they will create lots of social change. Of course, social change starts with personal change. By changing our minds, we can change the world. And with all the crises we are facing, our own self knowledge and our inner life will aid us immensely in feeling more at home in the changing environment. Your personal astrology signatures and their messages can help you believe in yourself and make your dreams come true, as mine have helped me so many times. To learn what your chart has to tell you about your journey, please reach out to me. Sending you much love to help you on your journey to better health, more freedom, and more love for yourself and others.